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TPG Week 29: Establishing Shots Are Important

| July 15, 2011 | 7 Comments

 

Welcome again, one and all, to The Proving Grounds! This week, we’ve got a new Brave One in Connor MacDonald. Let’s see what happens as we go through…

 

PLAN D

PAGEONE

Panel 1. An establishing day shot of a warehouse at a city dock. (Right off the bat, I have questions. Never a good thing. An establishing shot answers four questions: Who, What, When, Where. We have the When and the Where, but not the Who and the What. Where’s the camera? Are we pulled out, or is it more of a medium shot? Are there boats in the water? What kind? Can anyone at all be seen? Are they having a siesta? I’ve asked more questions than you have panel description, Connor. Not good.)

MCDOWELL O.P:
Where is he?

HANSON O.P:
He said he would be here at three.

Panel 2. Medium shot of two business men in suits wait impatiently in the abandoned warehouse (What abandoned warehouse? You never said anything about an abandoned warehouse. Where did it come from? This should have been established in the previous panel, hence, establishing shot. And since I was able to comprehend what was going on, I’m not going to hit you on your lack of clarity in this sentence. Something you’ll want to watch out for, though.). One of them (MCDOWELL) has wandering eyes, the other (HANSON) checks his watch.

MCDOWELL:
And what time is it?

HANSON:
Three thirty almost. (Fail. Right here. Because of a comma, or lack thereof.)

Panel 3. From behind McDowell looks over his shoulder paranoid, (seemingly gazing at the reader). Hanson just stands there stiffly, showing us the back of his head.

MCDOWELL:
Then where is Hanson (Le huh? I thought Hanson was standing next to him? Clarity, Connor.)? Seriously who shows up late to a meeting this big? (More fail. Less commas. Want less fail? Add more commas.)

HANSON:
Relax McDowell, have a smoke or something. (Comma. And you want a period after McDowell’s name, not a comma. You want a hard stop, not a soft pause.)

Panel 4. An explosion of smoke engulfs the men. Hanson’s only reaction is a smirk and raised eyebrows. McDowell jumps in a panic, pulling his hands too his face as if to protect it. (Let’s see. Let’s see. Rich Douek. What’s wrong here?)

SFX:
KAPOOF!

On the whole, this page ended well. It has its problems, but I like the way you ended it. You made sure the reader would turn the page to at least find out what’s going on, and that’s always a good thing. It shows they’re interested. Good work here, Connor.

PAGETWO(You need to actually insert a page break, not just hit the Enter button until you get to the next page.)

Panel 1. Close up of Hanson waving away the smoke while he straining to see through the cloud.
(No, this is NOT a moving panel. This is not two actions happening at once. This panel can be drawn.)

Panel 2. A long shot of the two men’s backs, McDowell is hunched forward coughing, Hanson stands with one hand on his hip the other still waving away smoke. Between the two men is a siloett (Okay, you saw the red line. I know you did. My question is simple: why didn’t you fix it? That’s a real question, and I’d like a real answer. Let’s say you don’t know what the word means, so you can’t use a thesaurus in order to find it. Why not use a different word? I’m really curious.) of a third gent hidden in the cloud.

Panel 3.Medium shot. The smoke is now partially cleared and Hanson’s hand is now being lowered to his waist. Just peeking up from the bottom of the panel is McDowell looking up to the third man off panel. (Where’s the camera? We were just behind them. Are we now in front of them?)

Panel 4. A long shot from the side. The two men, (still in the same pose as panel 3), stand before a genuine, but stereotypical black ninja. (Wait. Is the ninja black, or are the clothes the ninja wears black? Okay, fine, it’s just me being difficult. But this isn’t: what is everyone doing?)

Panel 5. Medium shot from the side. McDowell cautiously huddles behind Hanson while wiping away a tear. Hanson reaches out to the Ninja to shake hands. The Ninja keeps eye contact, not wavering. (Why is this still from the side? What is the ninja doing?)

HANSON:
Glad you could make it.

NINJA:
No pleasantries! Just the contract. (This line? Not good. I’d consider it a placeholder until going through the entire script and then coming up with something better. But this will make your readers wince.)

Another decent page. Except for that last line.

PAGETHREE(Page break.)

Panel 1. A moist eyed McDowell reaches into his coat, we can see he is retrieving a folder. (You know, I’ve owned trench coats. I’ve owned overcoats. I’ve never been able to pull a folder out of one like you see in the movies and shows. Do they have a tesseract in there or something? Or is it like Highlander: The Series? I guess we’ll find out when people start pulling swords out from nowhere. Anyway, I’m not buying this. Maybe if there were a briefcase or something, but not from a coat pocket.)

HANSON (OP):
It’s a tough one (Period.)

Panel 2. McDowell hands Hanson the folder from behind, he looks to McDowell with an expression of discomfort (And here is where lack of clarity has bitten you in the butt-ocks. I have no idea what this panel description is supposed to mean, so I can’t see how it is supposed to be drawn.). Hanson confidently continues smiling.

NINJA (OP):
High profile?

HANSON:
Doesn’t get much higher than this.

Panel 3. Medium shot of Hanson as he opens the folder and looks at it himself. (This move right here is straight out of a bad 80s movie.)

HANSON:
And we want it to be clean, poisoning, something that looks natural preferably. (If you want people to read what you write the way you want it to sound, then you have to learn to use correct punctuation. I don’t know if I should change the commas to periods or not. I think it would read better with periods, but that might subtly change the thrust of the dialogue. Part of clarity is knowing correct punctuation usage.)

Panel 4. Hanson turns the folder over to the ninja, the ninja raises an eyebrow. (Where is the camera? Is the ninja doing anything else?)

HANSON:
But that’s just a preference, it can be conspicuous. There’s nothing wrong with a little suspicion, we can spin that. (You want periods where you have commas. Hard stops, not soft pauses.)

Panel 5. Side shot of Hanson smiling at the emotionless ninja, McDowell stands around awkwardly between the two.

HANSON:
People are going to think what they want to think.

PAGEFOUR(Page break.)

Panel 1. Close up of the ninja’s eyes going wide. (Why? There’s no reason for it.)

Panel 2. Side shot Hanson is shocked as the Ninja hands the folder back to him forcefully. Between them McDowell covers his head in fear. (John Lees: what’s wrong here?)

NINJA:
No.

HANSON:
No?

Panel 3. Medium shot of the ninja, from the shoulder up as he turns to walk away, speaking over his shoulder

NINJA:
The Ninja are one with the shadows, we move silently, we kill without detection, as far as most of the world is concerned, we do not exist. But if I do what you ask of me– (You’re going to have him say all of that as he walks away? And why is he walking away instead of going as he came: by disappearing into some smoke? And yes, the lack of periods is killing me. And the dialogue itself is extremely blunt.)

Panel 4. Medium shot of the ninja from the waist up. He pulls a small black ball out of a pouch on his belt. Hanson and McDowell stand in the background in shock.

NINJA:
–a candle will be lit, and as minute as the light from that candle may be, exposing just a fraction of it to the shadows could disrupt our unity. (This whole speech seems out of character for the ninja. First he yells at them, telling them to hurry up, and now he’s basically reciting the equivalent of War and Peace. It doesn’t fit.)

Panel 5. Headshot of the ninja as he nods to the disappointed (and off panel) Hanson and McDowell. (I don’t think this will look good when drawn. The aet will have to determine this one.)

NINJA:
I apologize but we will not take your contract. (Comma.)

PAGEFIVE(Page break)

Panel 1. Medium shot as the ninja throws down the ball and it explodes into another cloud of smoke. (VERY anti-climactic action here. Why not pull a Batman and have him disappear when they look away? That would play better, methinks. Yannick? What do you think?)

Panel 2. Long shot of Hanson and McDowell exiting the warehouse, followed by trail of smoke. (Why is this a long shot? And why is a trail of smoke following them? How much smoke is in one of those pellets? No, I’m not seeing that. This would work better at least without the smoke. )

MCDOWELL:
What the hell did all that mean?

HANSON:
It means he’s worried people will start to suspect ninjas. Just like the mob was worried about business and the warlock was worried about being roasted on a stake. (This dialogue is way too blunt. It feels to me like you’re talking down to your audience. Don’t do that. Always assume that they’re at least as smart as you, if not smarter. That way, you’re always covered.)

Panel 3. Long shot of Hanson opening the door to his all black, 1960 Chrysler Enforcer. While McDowell circles around to the passenger side. (It’s magically delicious! The car, that is. Where did it come from?)

HANSON:
Really can’t blame them.

MCDOWELL:
So what do we do now?

Panel 4. From the drivers side window we watch Hanson start the car while McDowell holds open a news paper, the date should be clear on the cover page, November 19th 1963 (You have a awkward jump in Border Time. I get it, but I don’t have to like it. I’d rather take a larger jump on a page turn, and have them already in the car, talking about it. Now, I’m no history buff, but I have certain…obsessions. You may need to speak more plainly about the plan later.)

HANSON:
We go with plan D (Period.)

MCDOWELL:
What’s plan D?

HANSON:
It’s messy.

Panel 5. A duel head shot with McDowell leaning in front of Hanson looking very concerned, Hanson in the foreground pops an unlit cigarette into his mouth. (A “duel” is generally between two people, and generally with weapons. Sometimes pistols, but generally thought of with swords. The word you’re looking for is “dual.” Clarity. This needs a different action, too. The action here makes no sense, and it feels like it’s just tacked on so you can have more space for dialogue.)

HANSON:
We’ll put a brain washed sniper in the book depository. Program him with some commie sympathies and let him take the fall. (Brainwashed is one word.)

MCDOWELL:
What if he misses?

Panel 6. Head shot as Hanson smiles as he lights his cigarette. (How? Car lighter, or did he flick his Bic?)

HANSON:
We’ll put a second sniper on the grassy knoll, just in case. It’ll be fool proof. (Foolproof is generally one word.)


THE END.

 

So, we’re at the end. Let’s run it down.

 

Format: Almost flawless. Just add in the page breaks.

Panel Descriptions: They need some work. You’re not being as clear as you could be, and you’ve got some things in there that make little to no sense. This definitely needs to be worked on, so that the artist gets a better idea of what it is you want. You also need to describe your settings better. Establishing shots are very important. Once you set the scene, you can then do almost anything you want. Without that establishment, you’re setting yourself up for failure, or at least for your artist to be unhappy with you. Tell them everything they need to know. You’ll both be much happier.

 

Also, watch your spelling. If you don’t, you’ll add confusion to the script where there doesn’t need to be any.

 

Pacing: Not bad at all! I liked it. Generally, you got in and out in five pages. Could you have done it in less? I think so, but it doesn’t feel padded at all. Good work there.

 

Dialogue: Needs a lot of work. Very blunt and direct. Not good. I’d gut it all and start over from scratch.

 

You also make the mistake of talking down to your audience. At least, that’s how I felt. I stopped reading Michael Crichton for just that reason. I felt talked down to throughout the reading of Congo, and I never picked up another book of his. Don’t do that to your audience. They won’t like it.

 

Content: Like I said, I have certain…obsessions. This is one of them. From a reader’s perspective, I’m interested to see what you do with it. How you solve certain problems. I think you had enough going on to keep a reader’s interest.

 

Editorially, there are some issues such as clarity and better establishment of your settings, not to mention the dialogue. But for all the red, this isn’t that bad.

 

And that’s it for this week!

 

I’m running low on scripts, folks. If you want The Proving Grounds to continue, then I need your help. I need scripts.

 

Thanks! And check the calendar to see who’s next!

 

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Category: The Proving Grounds

About the Author ()

Steven is an editor/writer with such credits as Fallen Justice, the award nominated The Standard, and Bullet Time under his belt, as well as work published by DC Comics. Between he and his wife, there are 10 kids (!), so there is a lot of creativity all around him. Steven is also the editor in chief and co-creator of ComixTribe, whose mission statement is Creators Helping Creators Make Better Comics. If you're looking for editing, contact him at stevedforbes@gmail.com for rate inquiries.

Comments (7)

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  1. Rich Douek says:

    Panel 4. An explosion of smoke engulfs the men. Hanson’s only reaction is a smirk and raised eyebrows. McDowell jumps in a panic, pulling his hands too his face as if to protect it. (Let’s see. Let’s see. Rich Douek. What’s wrong here?)

    I think it just needs a little clarity because as written it’s a little hard to visualize whats going on. Like, where’s the explosion in relation to them? After reading page 2, I can infer it was at their feet, but that’s something the artist needs to know. Also, just semantics, but if they’re engulfed in smoke, then we probably wouldn’t be able to see their reaction. When I hear engulfed, i think completely obscured, like we’d be seeing silhouettes.

    With something like “A smoke bomb goes off at their feet” for the first line, I’d have a much clearer view of whats going on.

    Plus, a small typo – should be pulling his hands TO his face

  2. “PAGE FIVE (Page break)

    Panel 1. Medium shot as the ninja throws down the ball and it explodes into another cloud of smoke. (VERY anti-climactic action here. Why not pull a Batman and have him disappear when they look away? That would play better, methinks. Yannick? What do you think?)”

    Why Steven, thank you for putting the Batman question aside for me!

    Indeed, this bit here seems not only anticimatic, it’s also un-ninjalike (is that a word? I guess it is now). Of course, you can have the Ninja pull some tricks out of the Batman handbook (which is a real book by the way). Two possibilities off the top of my head:

    1. Like Steven said, have the Ninja disappear while they look away. I’d accomplish this by having the two guys keep talking for a little while and then suddenly realize the ninja is gone (also known as the “Gordon semi-monologue”). However, you’ll have to jumble your script a bit for this and add more dialogue. Maybe move up those lines where Hanson is explaining to MacDowell why the ninja won’t take the job.

    2. Ninja smoke pellet PLUS ninja grapple line! Just like Michael Keaton does in the 1989 movie! If you want to add a little funny, have McDowell wonder where he grapple-lined to since there’s absolutely no structure above them.

    But the best way I can think of is having the ninja just slowly melt back into the shadows. He can start doing this at the start of his speech in panel 3 and all the way through panels 4 and 5. How about this?

    “Panel 3. Medium shot of the ninja facing us. He’s standing against the inky black shadows stretched in the corner between the warehouse wall and a stack of crates. We can see the back of Hanson and McDowell’s heads in the foreground.

    NINJA
    The Ninja are one with the shadows, we move silently, we kill without detection, as far as most of the world is concerned, we do not exist. But if I do what you ask of me –

    Panel 4. Same shot, but the Ninja has now disappeared halfway into the opaque shadows. Only half his torso, his head and his left arm are still visible.

    NINJA
    –a candle will be lit, and as minute as the light from that candle may be, exposing just a fraction of it to the shadows could disrupt our unity.

    Panel 5. Same shot, but with only the ninja’s face appearing out of the shadows.

    NINJA
    I apologize —

    PAGE 5

    Panel 1. Slightly wider shot but same angle as the previous panel. The darkness has somehow dissipated and we can see the empty corner formed by the wall and crates – although more lightly shaded by natural-looking shadows. The Ninja has completely vanished. In the foreground, Hanson still hasn’t moved, but McDowell has jumped back a bit in shock. He’s halfway turned towards his partner with a surprised look on his face.

    NINJA (OP)
    — but I will not take your contract.”

    That’s a way your ninja can go out with less of a POOF and more of a BANG. It also solves the problem Steven was having with the walking away and the nodding as well as showing the truly awesome power of the stereotypical ninja.

    And sorry for having pulled a Batman on you myself, Steven. Work has been dreadfully hellish and this is the first time in weeks I was able to put some time aside for comics – apart from buying them of course! I’ll try and work my way back through all the previous Proving Grounds I missed.

    Also bonus points to you for that Highlander reference in editing a script written by a Connor of clan MacDonald. 😛

    Connor: GREAT idea! I like to read these little self-contained stories with quirky twists. Very refreshing! I hope you submit more here (like I should talk…).

  3. “HANSON:
    And we want it to be clean, poisoning, something that looks natural preferably.”

    I’m wondering if some of that dialogue couldn’t be cut up into multiple bubbles. Maybe that would help solve some of the punctuation issues. Something like:

    HANSON: And we want it to be clean.

    HANSON: Poisoning – something that looks natural preferably.

    Of course, if you overdo it – we’ll cal it “bendissing” 😉 – it starts grating on the nerves. However, a moderate use of this trick would help set up the rhythm you want in your dialogue, in my opinion at least.

  4. “Panel 1. Close up of the ninja’s eyes going wide. (Why? There’s no reason for it.)”

    Because we never actually see the ninja READ the contents of the folder. It’s implied of course…

    “Panel 4. Hanson turns the folder over to the ninja, the ninja raises an eyebrow.”

    “Panel 5. Side shot of Hanson smiling at the emotionless ninja, McDowell stands around awkwardly between the two.”

    …but it never actually happens on the page. Hence Steven’s question: “Is the ninja doing anything else?”

    Or did I just answer in Connor’s place? :S

  5. “Panel 4. From the drivers side window we watch Hanson start the car while McDowell holds open a news paper, the date should be clear on the cover page, November 19th 1963 (You have a awkward jump in Border Time. I get it, but I don’t have to like it. I’d rather take a larger jump on a page turn, and have them already in the car, talking about it. Now, I’m no history buff, but I have certain…obsessions. You may need to speak more plainly about the plan later.)

    HANSON:
    We go with plan D (Period.)”

    “Period” indeed. I would have stopped here. I get what you were trying to do with the grassy knoll idea, but it’s like chocolate whipped cream on top of a fudge-covered chocolate chip brownie: a very good idea on top of an already sufficiently great idea. It doesn’t make the great idea even greater and it’s a bit too rich for my literary stomach.

    I think most comic readers are well-read enough to understand the significance of that date coupled with all that’s been going on beforehand. Drive the point home any further and you’re just going all the way through it. That’s where I agree with Steven about you talking down to the audience – even though I’ve never read any Crichton.

  6. Conner MacDonald says:

    Wow, haven’t seen that much red since my sister left a tampon a float in the toilet.

    Before I post my corrections, I want to tell you a little about myself. First I’m new to writing Comic scripts. My writing experience is actually writing Stand-up and Sketch comedy. I find writing panels full of details is tough because I’m used to having performers to direct in person, or… just doing it all myself.

    This site is a god send, and excellent asset to beginner comic writers. And I plan on submitting more scripts in the future.

  7. Conner MacDonald says:

    PLAN D

    PAGE ONE
    Panel 1. A wide establishing shot of a warehouse during the day at a city dock. Two men, dressed in suits are entering a side fire escape. We can not see their faces from this distance, but the men should be physically different. One, MCDOWELL, is short and pudgy and carrying a suitcase. The other is HANSON. Hanson should be tall and thin. Think of Laural and Hardy or Abbott and Costello in terms of physicality. Parked near the door is a all black, 1960 Chrysler Enforcer. Cruising in the background in the water is a garbage barge, circling above it is flock of seagulls.

    MCDOWELL:
    Where is he?

    HANSON:
    He said he would be here at three.
    Panel 2. Medium shot of the two men from the front entering the interior of the warehouse. McDowell has wandering eyes, Hanson checks his watch. The warehouse itself is vacant. There’s nothing but the men inside.

    MCDOWELL:
    And what time is it?

    HANSON:
    Three thirty, almost.

    Panel 3. From behind McDowell looks over his shoulder paranoid, (seemingly gazing at the reader). Hanson just stands there stiffly, showing us the back of his head.

    MCDOWELL:
    Jesus, where is he Hanson? Seriously who shows up late to a meeting this big?

    HANSON:
    Relax McDowell. Have a smoke, or something.

    Panel 4. An explosion of smoke shoots up from their feet. Hanson’s only reaction is a smirk and raised eyebrows. McDowell jumps in a panic, pulling his hands to his face as if to protect it.
    SFX:
    KAPOOF!

    PAGE TWO

    Panel 1. Close up of Hanson waving away the smoke while he strains to see through the cloud.
    Panel 2. A long shot of the two men’s backs, McDowell is hunched forward coughing, Hanson stands with one hand on his hip the other still waving away smoke. Between the two men is a silhouette of a third gent hidden in the cloud.

    ( I think a few things may of happened, I was on a roll writing and didn’t bother to make the correction right away and end up forgetting it. Or during my own editing I simply missed it, along with several of my other embarrassing mistakes.)
    Panel 3.Medium shot, from the front. The smoke is now partially cleared and Hanson’s hand is now being lowered to his waist. Just peeking up from the bottom of the panel is McDowell looking up to the third man off panel.

    Panel 4. A long shot from the side. Hanson dust off his jacket, while McDowell covers his mouth with one hand coughing. Standing before them is a genuine, but stereotypical ninja, dressed all in black, with a katana strapped to his side.

    Panel 5. shot from the side. McDowell cautiously huddles behind Hanson while wiping away a tear, his eyes are fixed on Hanson’s hand. Hanson reaches behind himself to McDowell, while keeping eye contact with the ninja. The Ninja also keeps eye contact, not wavering, his hand rested on his sheathed katana.

    HANSON:
    Your late.

    NINJA:
    A ninja is never late, a ninja is always early so they may gain the upper hand in the event of possible ambush. To do this a ninja must set his watch-

    HANSON:
    That is really interesting and all, but are we going to talk business or what?

    PAGE THREE
    Panel 1. A moist eyed McDowell kneels to the ground retrieving a folder from his open suit case.

    NINJA (O.P):
    Yes, I apologize.

    Panel 2. McDowell now standing hands Hanson the folder from behind, he has an expression of discomfort. Hanson confidently continues smiling at the off panel ninja.

    HANSON:
    You can make up for it by doing this favour for us.

    NINJA (OP):
    High profile?

    HANSON:
    Doesn’t get much higher than this.

    Panel 3. Medium shot of Hanson as he opens the folder and looks at it himself. (I love bad 80’s movies)

    HANSON:
    And we want it to be clean.

    HANSON: Poisoning – something that looks natural preferably.

    Panel 4. From over Hanson’s shoulder we see the folder changing hands. The ninja grabs it from Hanson with a raised eyebrow, as he looks at its contents.

    HANSON:
    But that’s just a preference. It can be conspicuous. There’s nothing wrong with a little suspicion. we can spin it, if we need to.

    Panel 5. Side shot of Hanson smiling at the emotionless ninja as he reads through the document, McDowell as moved awkwardly between the two.

    HANSON:
    In the end people are going to think what they want to think.

    PAGE FOUR
    Panel 1. Close up of the ninja’s eyes going wide with shock.

    Panel 2. Hanson is appalled as the Ninja hands the folder back to him forcefully. McDowell between Hanson and the ninja covers his head with his suitcase in fear. (John Lees: what’s wrong here?)

    NINJA:
    No, ninja do-

    HANSON:
    Pardon? No?

    Panel 3. Medium shot of the ninja, from the shoulder up.

    NINJA:
    The Ninja are one with the shadows, we move silently, we kill without detection. As far as most of the world is concerned, we do not exist. But if I do what you ask of me– (The bluntness was meant to make it sound as if it were from a manual? As if he’s recited it a million times. Is there better way of getting that effect?)

    Panel 4. Medium shot of the ninja from the waist up. He pulls a small black ball out of a pouch on his belt. Hanson and McDowell stand in the background in shock.

    NINJA:
    –a candle will be lit, and as minute as the light from that candle may be, exposing just a fraction of it to the shadows could disrupt our unity.

    NINJA:
    I apologize, but I cannot accept your contract.

    Panel 5. A head shot of McDowell looking to Hanson confused. Hanson is annoyed.

    MCDOWELL:
    What the hell does he mean?

    HANSON:
    Hes a chicken, just like the warlock and the cyborg. Just missing feather’s and a beak.

    PAGE FIVE

    Pane; 1. Long shot of Hanson and McDowell in the warehouse, standing alone. Hanson points a thin air, surprised to see no one in front of him. McDowell rears back in surprise.

    HANSON:
    You hear me you-

    MCDOWELL:
    Where’d he go?

    Panel 2. Medium shot of and Hanson exiting the warehouse with McDowell close behind. Hanson’s brow is furrowed in anger. McDowell appears confused.

    MCDOWELL:
    So what do we do now?

    Panel 3. Long shot of Hanson opening the drivers side door to the car, while McDowell circles around to the passenger side.

    HANSON:
    Plan D. I guess.

    MCDOWELL:
    What’s plan D?

    HANSON:
    It’s messy.

    Panel 4. A shot of the two men through the windshield. McDowell opens his suit case, looking to Hanson in a inquisitive manner. Hanson turns the key to start the car.

    HANSON:
    We’ll put a brainwashed sniper in a nest. Program him with some commie sympathies and let him take the fall.

    MCDOWELL:
    I don’t know, a lone gun man? Seems risky.

    Panel 5. From the drivers side window we see Hanson smile slightly. McDowell, still looking to Hanson pulls a folded newspaper from his suitcase.

    HANSON:
    Fine. We’ll put a second sniper on the lower vantage point, just in case. It’ll be foolproof.

    Panel 6. Medium shot of McDowell from the drivers side. He should now be reading the news paper. The date should be clear on the cover page, “November 19th 1963”. McDowell should seem unimpressed.

    MCDOWELL:
    I’ll take your word on it.

    THE END.

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